WATH 158
Cooper 56
Barlow 35

CLEETHORPES 136
Barlow 3-12
Roebuck 3-25

Well its time to dust off the keyboard for a lazy Sunday evening. Cynics might think that as we played well, it is simply a coincidence that there's a match report. And well, they're obviously correct.

Nine out of the eleven arrived on time - just the PlaterMobile was late. Toad, an innocent passenger, hung his driver out to try saying it was nowttodowime. It turned out that Plater had gone hunting for tape. Would this improve his batting or keeping? Time would tell.

We won the toss and batted first on a shirt front of a wicket. The All Ginger Duo of Cooper and Barney strode to the crease, looking like a less talented more rotund Fred and George Weasley, as Captain Barlow took to hiding in the middle order due to a chronic lack of form. Anyway, the new openers didn't show much improvement this week as Barney missed a straight one and went to the Spa Shop in depression. Flathers stuck around for a while at 3 without doing much damage, before he top edged a pull shot. Toad, obviously watching intently, then did exactly the same - top edging the Toad Pull for not many. So Barlow joined Cooper at 40 odd for 3. Cooper had played and missed three hundred times and royally ticked off opening bowler Baker, who deserved better - but the arrival of his captain nudged him into action. The two Wathonians shared a stand of 65 off 10 overs with some big blows from Farmer Cooper and actual intelligent running - for once. with about 12 overs left Barlow snicked off to Costello - a dismissal that has never happened before, before Plater came and went, as Plater's do. Obviously the tape didn't help him. Whitlam joined Cooper who by this point was sweating more than Prince Andrew in Pizza Express, as after bringing up his half century, the man in form tried one slog too many and fell to a very tasty catch at deep mid wicket. With an extra bowler selected this week, it was left to Whitlam to marshall the tail - a task he relished, by immediately getting run out. The Bomb Squad weren't great, as Roebuck played an immaculate forward defensive, about 20 seconds after he'd lost his middle peg. Innings Closed.

Tea was 20 minutes, so Cooper went to Tesco and was late for the second dig. Almost.

The Cleethorpes run chase started quite normally, with no free hits or five wides. Lovely stuff. Gunn was a constant menace, but it was Shifty who struck, as he nicked off the dangerous Osmond - with Plater and his tape holding on. A double change brought a treble wicket as Roebuck altered the game in the space of two overs. Firstly, he produced a wonderful long hop to dismiss Cook - before finding his rhythm as he provided Plater with another victim as well as uprooting the leg stump of Baker. At the other end, Kirk toiled without looking too dangerous - but we'll let him off as he's basically carried our attack this year. Luckily, Barlow's shoulder was given the all clear this week as the skipper managed three wickets - one aided by a smart stumping from his backstop. Gunn returned for a second spell to clean up the tail, with Shifty bowling Captain Kirby - and we'd won by 20ish. A wonderful day, and off for fish and chips.

MAN OF THE MATCH: Cooper provided more runs, Barlow actually turned up, but ALEX ROEBUCK gets the award for his 6 over spell that gave us the momentum to win. But he wore a horrible pink jumper last night, so that needs stamping out.

TOAD OF THE DAY - Toad probably. In fact no, I'll give it FLATHERS. He brought his Mum all the way to the coast, failed with the bat, then slipped on a worm.

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SELECTED QUOTES:

"Firstly I went to Tesco, which was shut. Then to Hoggies, which was shut. So I'm starving"

"She likes to watch, although she doesn't know what's going off. Well, neither do I"

"Its easy at 5. There's no excuse"

"Where's the Bin?"

"Where's the bin. ITS THERE TOAD. THERE'S THE BIN"....Slams bin down.

"You were catching me up, so I had to slog a 6. I'm not having that"

"What was he thinking? Well, you can stop there. He doesn't think"

"If he gets three wickets, he said he'd get a tattoo on his arse"

"You were out - it would have knocked all three out of the ground"

"I don't like wine gums, there's not enough umph behind them"

"Is this Cleethorpes first team? Yes, do we look that bad?"

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See you next season. Or next victory.